Shine the Way....
Tonight I had my discernment meeting and reality is setting in for me. The reality of a year of formal discernment and really taking the call seriously. The “reality” is for another blog because the picture along side this blog is what the focus is on tonight. After the meeting tonight I needed some time to just reflect on everything and let it sink in for me. I decided to go to Ocean Grove, walk the board and pray the Rosary. Along the board there are many benches and I decided after walking for a while to sit and say the rosary and look at the ocean. So I sit.... and in front of me, directly in front of me is the lamp post and I think to myself “ really, of all the spot you pick one with a lamp post in direct line of sight”... but as I was going to move, one thought came to me and then followed by taking a picture to remember it. Yet, when I look at the photo another thought came to me.
The first thought was “ hmmmm, it is almost like a fork in the road. It is splitting my sight into two equal parts.” One side seems to be the comfortable way with the bench and I can just sit down and relax. The second would be me standing up and ready to move instantly. I would have to be more focused and ready with standing. This is where I think I am now vs a year ago. Before this, my life and vocation call was being handled by me just sitting down and relaxing. Not ready to move anytime soon and just sat there looking at the world and relaxing. Not thinking about my vocation much but just a passing idea. Now, I am standing and examining it, moved when I needed to move and really focused on what my vocation is to be. Both had the same view, and I think that was the problem. I thought I was being active in some form of “discernment” before as I sat but it took me to stand to realize what I was really missing, an active stand of saying “Here I am Lord, send me”. I actually laughed to myself about this idea that was in my head. Then thought “ this could be my blog tonight”. Then got the phone out to get a photo for the blog.
The second thought as I looked at the photo was well, first “ This light in the photo is much much brighter then what I can see before me”, and second “ that in the center of what I see before me is a bright light. The bright light of Jesus and where He is calling me to go. What my eyes did not see as bright, really is. I have let other things and even people dim that light before me. It took me to see the light through another lens to get the reality of it to be seen. Jesus has been before me this whole time trying to direct me and my vocation but i was too busy just sitting back. I did not allow Him to be that center and shine the way I needed Him to. I took it onto myself and decided how bright I wanted Him to shine. We have to look through the lens of prayer and trust to really get the real picture of what is before us.
The problem is that no matter what side of the lamp I would be on, the reality of what is before me was the same. The reality of God’s Will is there before us. The difference comes in when we are either sitting down and not being active in it, verses standing up and be ready for God’s Will to move us. God’s will for me in my vocation has never changed, He never changed it, I just decided on how I was going to act on it. For too long I took the inactive role and just let it be. God does not force His will on us. It takes for us to be active and ready to see where His will is guiding us,
What side of the lamp are you on? Are you on the side where you are sitting down and not moving or on the side where you are standing waiting to move for God’s will?
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