Sunday, September 30, 2012

Separating Ourselves

Separating Ourselves

If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off.It is better for you to enter into life maimedthan with two hands to go into Gehenna,into the unquenchable fire.And if your foot causes you to sin, cut if off.It is better for you to enter into life crippledthan with two feet to be thrown into Gehenna.And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out.Better for you to enter into the kingdom of God with one eyethan with two eyes to be thrown into Gehenna ~ Mark 9: 43-47

  Todays Gospel reading at mass struck a cord with me. It tells us how important it is for us to avoid those things or people that causes us to sin. If our hand causes us to sin then cut it off. That is a very serious direction to be given. We can not take sin lightly. 

       In the reading Jesus does not say only when severe sin is caused by our hand do we cut it off, but just sin in general. We need to find those things or people that causes sin or in reality tempts us to sin and remove it or them from our lives. This is the best way because when we remove the temptation then we will are least likely to sin. It is the same for someone who is an alcoholic. They would need to remove the alcohol from their homes so not to be tempted. It is in the temptation that we turn  from God and focus on our own wants and desires. That temptation can either turn us fully from God or we turn back to God and ask for strength to ignore that temptation. 

         What tempts you? What pulls you away from the spiritual life with God and has you focus on the physical world? Not everything in the world pulls us away from God. There are things that will push us to see God as well in this world.  When God gave us free will, we also gained the choice of listening and acting on those temptations.  We need to identify those things that tempt us. They do not need to be big things as you may think that may tempt us. If instead of going to mass you want to sleep in because of a late night, then those late nights are tempting you. I am not saying that we are not to go out and have fun but if that caused you to miss work you would not do it. So why is it when it comes to mass that we do not change it. If when you are on the computer and you view sites that causes sinful thoughts then you need to block those sites.  You have to find those things that tempt you and turns you from God and remove them. The hard part is at times is that you may not realize that you are turning away. You will need to do some soul searching and ask God to help you find those temptations. 

          It is easier to remove those “things” that tempts us then the people that do. Sometimes there are people who help us see God in the world and those who we follow down a path that brings us further from God. We can not blame others for our own actions. It is our choice to do those things that causes us to sin. When it comes to relationships that tempt us we need to fully examine them. Jesus and the disciples were around many people who’s life styles were surrounded by sin, yet they did not.  You have to find that balance where you are not tempted by others actions. Some people can not be around those who’s lives are surrounded by sin. That is ok, not everyone has the same resistance to temptation. If you find that you do not have that resistance then you need to keep a distance.  Maybe talk to those around you and say you want to live a different life and that those things are keeping you from it. I can not stress this enough, do not get all holier the thou with them. We are all children of God and we are not to judge each other but judge the sin in us.  You may have to end some relationships, not because of the person but because you are being tempted. Again, you will need to do some soul searching and ask God if you are to move on from the relationship. 

         No matter what it is in our lives that tempts us to sin and look away from God, we need to remove it from our lives. We need to separate our life from the life of sin. Find those things that tempt you and replace them with things that bring you closer to God. Invite those things and people into your life that replace the temptations with those things of God. It may not be easy at times but know that God is there and people are praying for you.

Until tomorrow, God Bless, and remember those things and people who bring you closer to God and surround yourself with them. 



Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me. ~ Matthew 16:24

  I have alway collected crosses and today I was at an event that had crosses, so I had to buy another one. There were all these different crosses, different sizes, different styles, different weights, and different materials. This set off that switch in my brain that says ok this is tonights blog. 

      Each and everyone of us have our crosses to bear. They are different for each one of us. No matter how different they are, we are to pick them up and follow Jesus. The weight of the crosses we bear will be lighten as we follow Jesus. He wants to help us with those burdens. Jesus picked up His cross and brought it to Calvary to be nailed to it. I can’t imagine how heavy that cross had to be. The cross, He bore was the weight of the worlds sins. Those sins of the present, past and future were on that cross. All He is asking in return is to pick up our crosses and follow Him. 

     It just may be easier for some people to pick up their crosses and follow Jesus with out a question or a problem. This doesn’t mean that the size of their crosses are smaller, it is that they are ready and willing to do it. Someone may have a huge cross to pick up and they are doing it like it weighs nothing but a small cross can weigh that person down and feel they can not do it. We can not compare our crosses to each other. What we can bear and handle someone else could never and the same for that person and us. You may see people who you can not understand how they were able to pick up their crosses and follow Jesus during the hardest times in their lives. They were able to because of Jesus. I bet they turned to Him and asked for help to carry those burdens, pain, hurt, whatever those crosses were weighed down with. We again need to ask for His help and guidance. 

     I did not turn to Jesus five years ago after my mothers death. I laid my cross down and walked off. There was just no way I was going to pick it up and move along. I thought it would be easier to walk without it and yes for a short time it was easier. It did not make the hurt stop or lessen it. By doing that I gave up on who I was in Jesus’ Name. It was a mistake to put the cross down, walk away, and not walk back to pick it up till to long after. By not following Jesus from the start made the cross heavier now. I add more weight all these years. 

      Jesus is not asking us to do the impossible when He asks us to pick up our crosses and follow Him. If it was impossible He would not be asking us. I know it is hard when things are not going well and the cross you bear is weighed down but know God will not give us more then we can handle.  I ask God are you sure I can handle all this? I have handled some hard times for sure but I am still here, writing this blog about how Jesus did help and I was able to handle it. It is ok for us to ask for help when we are carrying our crosses. Remember Jesus had help along the way as well. If Jesus had help I know I surely need the help. Sometimes asking a friend to pray for you, or talk about what is going on, can help with the weight of the cross lift somewhat. 

        There will always be some kind of cross we have to bear in this world. What matters is how we handle those crosses and how we carry them in this life? Pick up whatever cross you have and follow Jesus. He will make the weight lighter for you and help you along the way. We just need to ask.

Until tomorrow, God Bless, and pick up your cross and follow Jesus on the road to salvation. 

Friday, September 28, 2012



"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:  a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;  a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;  a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;  a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;  a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;  a time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;  a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.  What gain has the worker from his toil?  I have seen the business that God has given to the sons of men to be busy with. He has made everything beautiful in its time; also he has put eternity into man’s mind, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end." ~  Ecclesiastes

  Todays reading got me to think of all the different seasons and times in our lives. There are times we are going through many of these times at once even. We may be harvesting what we have sown and at the same time be planting the seeds from what we just harvested.  We may be breaking ourselves down so we may rebuild ourselves again. There is not a set time that we experience these just that there is a time for each. We do not know when these things will happen but God does. This is in His time frame not ours. 

     I always liked this reading. It is all those changes and emotions we deal with in life. There is not one of these that we have not experienced or will experience at sometime in our lives. It gives hope when we are going through those hard times of anger, breaking down, mourning, etc... that love, rebuilding, dancing etc.. will be coming for us again. I love the fall and spring because that is when the changes happen. If it was not for those two seasons there wouldn’t be change. It is the awakening of the spring that ends winter darkness and the crisp fall that ends the heat of summer. We are to change as well. We need to die to ourselves so we can live in Jesus name. Jesus went through all of these as well in His life. 

       My favorite part is “a time to break down, and a time to build up”. No matter how far you break down there is always a way to build yourself up again. He will not leave you an empty shell, He will fill you and wants to be that foundation that we build ourselves on again. One thing that I will say is that foundation that He built in me was still there after all the tearing down I did. That foundation is stronger then even I thought. Once that is there, it is easier to go back and rebuild again. The best advice when building is to ask for the plans from God and keep asking as you are going along. Don’t stop asking midway and start to do your own plans because it just may not fit with the rest of structure. 

       There will be those “times” where we are unsure of what time it is. Things are not always so clear. In those times of uncertainty turn to God and ask what you are to do now? What is next? One of those times is when there is a death and of course you will weep and mourn but you will also laugh and dance during those times as well. It is hard to laugh and dance but you will have memories that will make you feel the blessing it was to have them in your life for the time you did. Then it will be right back to weeping and morning the next moment. It will take time, maybe a lot of time before your laughing will out weigh your weeping but the time will come. I promise you that. 

         Everyone will go through all these times in their lives. It is how we handle these times that makes and forms us. I have to say that it was not in those times of splendor that God changed me the most. It was in those times of change and storms in my life that God changed me the most. Those times are the ones that my greatest leaps for God were taken. Where my greatest strengths came through. Where my greatest growth was. Those times shaped me and I bet that is when you felt the most growth as well. During those times we normally don’t see it or feel it but when you look back you will.
        Time is only measured here on earth.  We put time constraints on our lives and at least I know I do at times try and put that on God as well. God does not put that on us. Whatever time we give, whatever time we take to change, whatever time we pray, He takes and will not say your time was up or He only has enough time for one prayer. God is timeless.

    Until tomorrow, God Bless, and remember to take time for God. 

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Calling in Back Up

Calling in Back Up

 When we pray we are lucky to be able to call in for back up. What I mean is that we have the Saints to call upon to help with our prayers. You name it and there is a patron Saint that goes along with it. It is a great advantage we get. It is like having a second prayer defense team waiting to be called in. 

   Some people do not understand why we may pray to the saints and feel that we are worshiping them like we do God or Jesus. The best way to explain this is as you would ask a friend to say a prayer for you, it is the same with the saint. We are in communion with the saints just as we are with those here on earth. It is part of our community of believers. The heavenly community that waits to intercede for us. 

    People may wonder is there a point to ask or pray to the Saints for there help. I think we need to remember who the Queen of the Saints is, Mary , mother of Jesus. If your mother asks you to do something you tend to do it. It is not a bad idea to ask Mary to intercede for us as well of those who She is Queen over. If you are not sure about praying to the saints or uncomfortable with the idea of it, think of it as talking to one of your friends and they are offering their prayers for you. Think of it as talking to the saints. Also here is another way to look at it. What would it hurt to ask for them to intercede for you? There is nothing to loose, only to gain. 

     Now you have to start by finding out about the Saints. You may already know of some. The best thing to do is check out who they were and what they are the patron saint of. The saints lives can help in guiding us how we are to live here on earth. That here are people that have done extraordinary things , not because of themselves, but because of God. It would be good to see what their lives were also because they were just ordinary people that had the grace of God poured upon them. They answered His call to holiness and followed His word. 

      It gives me comfort to know that even though I have sinned, walked away and came back, denied what I knew, that there are Saints that understand that part of life. All the Saints did not lead perfect lives before they came to know God’s call. They were just as you and I, sinners. I know I will never be a saint but I know that I want to strive to live like they did. With their help and God’s grace I know we all have that chance. 

     I am thinking that in addition to the blog I may have a saint of the week for us to learn about. It will be a learning process for me as well, since I only really know of the main saints. I am willing to learn and I hope and pray that you will also. 

Until tomorrow, God Bless, and ask our community in heaven, the Saints, for prayers.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Jump Start

Jump Start

    The other day I ended up staying in and not leaving the house and I realized there was something different. I realized that I really didn’t talk or think about God until I sat down and started the blog.  Why did this happen? I then figured it out. The way I “ jump start” my spiritual side has been getting in the car and listening to christian music. Since I never left I never turned on the radio or listened to music. It is rare that I don’t leave the house so i never even thought about it. 

      Now that I know this I need to make sure that I start my days when I am not going out early in a different way. How do you “jump start” God in your day? Is it started by reading the bible over coffee in the morning? Do you pray the rosary? Sit on the deck sipping coffee and finding God in nature? There are so many different ways we can start the day with God. 

     Since I am far from a morning person and when I am working or going out I get up with just enough time to shower, dress and head out the door. So that is why listening to Christian Music in the car works great for me. It gives me that up beat start and prayer on the way to work. This starts and sets my day in the right direction. I have to say it does help with keeping my focus during the day because whatever songs I hear will be stuck in my head and will just randomly be in my head. That reminder is there. 

    You know with all this technology there should be a God reminder app. Maybe there is one, I wouldn’t be shocked. I am attached to my iPhone and it would be great to have that reminder. Have you talked to God today? Did you say your prayers? Have you connected to your faith today? I am not trivializing this at all but with how crazy life can be maybe this may help someone. This could be a way to “jump start” that God connection in the morning. 

     Maybe after 15 min after your alarm goes off, another alarm sounds and reminds you to say a prayer. Have your calendar app go off around noon and see that God appointment that you want to keep. I am not saying just set reminders and just rely on that to keep you going on the right path but I am saying use this as a helper. This could be both a “jump start” in the morning and also something to use during the day. I feel that anyway you find to help you keep God with you is worth a shot. 

     Some people maybe really good with setting up a routine and keeping it and others not so much. I am in between them both. There are times I am great at it and others I am lucky if I do it 3 days in a row. I have tried to do the purpose driven life and I don’t think I have kept that past day 4 to read everyday. Maybe it is reminder time for that for me. There are people that will wake everyday read the bible say the rosary and it never fails. It is ingrained in them. The snooze button is what is ingrained in me every morning. Yet, get me to my car and I can rock it with Jesus right till I get to work. 

     This blog is two fold. It is about “jump starting” your God moment and then keeping it during the day. Those moments where we keep God on our mind and in out heart through out the day. Not just in the morning or late at night.  I am definitely going to look into this God app idea and see what reminders I can set on my phone.

Until tomorrow, God Bless, and jump start your day with God words.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012



The word truth kept coming up today with me. It got me thinking what “Truth” really is and why is it that sometimes my truth is not someone else's. Then I thought that there are many levels of truth. The are some truths that are universal like the earth revolves around the sun and the moon revolves around the earth. That is an absolute truth but yet there are things I would consider an absolute truth that someone would see as a falsehood.  To me the idea of God is an absolute truth but to another their absolute truth is that He does not exist. Even when I was away I still knew there was a God. That absolute never changed for me. What changed was just how I dealt with that absolute truth. 

    Jesus said when asked where He was going“ Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” John 14:6 . This is an absolute truth as well. Following Jesus will get you to the Father, God. I do not see any other way but this. When Joseph stayed with Mary when she was pregnant was because he knew the truth. As so did Elizabeth when Mary came to her and she was with child. Elizabeth knew the truth that Mary was carrying her Lord. I see that their faith and the truth were so closely woven together in both Joseph and Elizabeth.  It was as if Faith and Truth are one at times. 

    One of my favorite exchanges about truth is when Jack Nicholson says to Tom Cruise in “ A Few Good Men”, You want answers? (JN) “ I want the truth” (TC) “You can’t handle the truth”(JN). T    ruth is not always easy to deal with. Truth can hurt you at times or even make things uneasy as well. Sometimes I wonder if I really want to know what the truth is behind some thing or people in my life. It can change your reality in a second. That is how powerful truth can be. Your life or the way you view the life around you can flip when hearing a truth. How you see people around you can change just as fast when you hear the truth. Think of a time when you were betrayed and you found out about it? How did you see that person after that? Knowing the truth about the betrayal impacted how you now saw that person. Truth can also have a domino effect. Once you find out that one true thing, it can set  things in a new light and you see things differently and maybe a bit clearer now as well. 

      As I said there are levels of truth. There is personal truths like how you feel about God, Religion, Jesus, etc... that may also be shared by others. These truths can be absolute truth for you as well. Then there are those absolute truths that can be explained by science like earth revolves around the sun. As I write this I am think that all absolute universal truths can be explained by science but absolute or personal truths are not always based on anything but Faith. 

   My Faith is an absolute truth in my life. It is personal and someone can’t just take that away from me. It is something that I did let happen. The truth about some people caused me to question my own personal truths because they were, or as I thought they were, shared as well.

    Truth can either build or bring down things around you. It is a very powerful force in the world. We all need to watch and learn from the truth in our live and be able to discern what the truth really is. This is something I pray for all the time, to know the truth. 

   As the saying goes “ The truth will set you free” and as we know Jesus is the truth and He has set us free from the chains of sin and death. 

Until tomorrow, God Bless, and always seek the truth in all things. 

Monday, September 24, 2012

Running on Empty

Running on Empty

Today on my way into work I looked down and realized my gas was on empty and the fuel light was lit. Now normally I wouldn’t even think twice but I was not sure when it went on and if I can get to the next station. It all worked out fine and I wasn’t even late for work so that was another plus.

   It got me thinking that we need to pay attention to our God gauge and make sure we do not get so low that we are running on empty with Him. God will always be there to help us coast along till we are at the next station to fill up again. We will never be stranded on the side of the road waiting for someone to come help us because God will not leave our side. 

   Even if we are running on fumes and do not think we are going to make it somehow with God we will. I can not say that over these five years God was not there. I was coasting by in life and passed by many full service stations to keep using the self serve ones. Self serve never filled me up. I would pay and get nothing coming out and as long as I got to the next stop I seemed fine. God and Jesus is that full service station that will fill us up all the time. We just have to take the time to stop and wait and allow them to do as They need to. Sometime you need that full service where they wash your Sins away so you can see clearly with and open heart. It will take more time at the full service then the self serve but you will have a safer and easy road to follow after it. 

   We also can help with filling us up with God. It can be where you are reading the bible, attending mass, praying, rosary, discussing God with others, etc... There are so many ways that God can use to fill us up and also make sure that we do not end up on empty.  I think of it as this way, You would not head out on a long trip and not check your oil, tires, gas, etc.. so why would we do this when it comes to living our lives. Why would we not try and keep ourselves filled with God to get through all the ruff and smooth patches of road in our lives? 

   You will need to find what fills your God and Jesus tank to get through your travels in this world. When you do find what does keep it going. Don’t wait till you are empty to use what fills you. 

Until tomorrow, God Bless, and find your ways to fill your spiritual tank. 

Sunday, September 23, 2012



Have you even been so thirsty that nothing seems to quench it? You try and try and there is nothing helping but all you want it that ahhhh moment. That is what it feels like being back. I feel that I have finally been quenched. I have tried many different things to fill that need but nothing has worked until now.

     Sometimes we get caught up in the day and we don’t stop and take the time to quench what we need. It is not just the spiritual side of our lives but the family, friends and desires that needs to be quenched. If we continue on and not feel that we are quenched then we are slowing building that desert in our lives. It will cause a dry spell in our lives and if we are not aware of it then we become lost in that desert wandering around trying to find our way out. 

    It is very easy to get lost in the desert. When we are lost we look to find anything that may help us. Sometimes all we find are these mirages. They look like what we need but as we get closer or spend the time there we realize, if we are lucky, that this is not what we need. That this is fake and not really what we needed the whole time. These mirages come in all different forms to each one of us. I would even say that sometimes these mirages are temptations that are put there for us to remove or walk away from. It is not of God those temptations. It does not matter what the mirage is, it is just that it is keeping us in the desert longer then we need to be.

   Yes, I did say, “longer then we need to be”. I do think that at times we need to be in a desert so we really do see what it is that we need. That we take for granted those things we have and do not realize what we have till it is not there. Jesus went into the desert and was tempted. We do not know of what fully happened to Him there but think what He was preparing for after this. Sometimes we are in that desert to prepare ourselves for what is to come next. Maybe we needed that time so we come out strong in the end. That we are not ready for that next level of Faith that is being forged in the fires of God’s grace. 

    I am now seeing this desert idea as twofold. It can be something that makes us stronger after and prepares us for what is to be vs a place where we can be lost and not be able to find our way out. It would make sense for me to have entered that desert five years ago after the death of my mother but I do not think I was to walk around for five years either. This is something that I need to explore more. I am not sure on this for me. 

    There will be times in our lives that will not make sense to us and that we are lost in the desert. Then there will be times like now for me that we walk out of the desert and the only thing that quenches us is Jesus, God, Mary, Church, etc..  It may be all of that, that quenches us or just Jesus. It is going to be different for each of us. It may be that you dive into that pool of religion that fulfills you or just taking up the Bible and reading God’s and Jesus’ words that does it for you. Only you can tell when you are fulfilled. 

   This idea of the desert will be revisited soon because I have a lot of questions and theories on this that I need to reflect and pray on. It does amaze me how I thought one way at the start of this blog and now I am finding I need more time on some areas. 

Until tomorrow, God Bless, and fill your glass before you leave today so you will not thirst. 

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Felt the Change

Felt the Change

   Today at Mass I felt different. I didn’t really understand why at first but as the mass went on I was just feeling sad for some reason. Before mass started I was sitting there just looking around when the usher came over and asked if I could help with the collection. It took me by surprise and I said yes. After I said yes, I was thinking what was I doing. Why did I say yes? Certainly there was someone else he could have asked. 

   It wasn’t that I didn’t want to help it was more of should I. To me, I just started back here and I know it is just collecting the money and sit back down but was it ok for me to do it. I did the job that was asked, and mind you it had to be a double collection day, and sat down. Something was still bothering me. I started to feel anxious  and just sad. 

   It was time for the Priest to consecrate the bread and it hit me. This was the first time in five years that I wanted to receive. This is why I was feeling so sad. I couldn’t believe that I was feeling this. For five years there was not a second that I felt I needed or wanted to receive. Even with coming back to church these past weeks there was not this draw at all. When it came time for people to receive the Eucharist, I would stand move out of the way so the others in the pew can go and I would sit back down. I didn’t give it a second thought.

   Now today as I stood to let the others out I felt so sad and because the Eucharist Minister stopped right next to my pew she thought I was going to receive and as she went to raise the Eucharist, I had to shake my head no. I felt so hurt at that moment. I realized how broken my heart was and just sat back down. 

    This will come as a shock to some as I say this but it was a blessing to me that I was sad and felt my heart brake at that moment. That pain means that my heart is changing. That I no longer am holding that pain, anger and suffering that kept me away for these years. I want to be able to receive the Eucharist again. As sad as I was and still am, I know I had to feel this to be able to go on to the next step. 

    The next step is confession for me. I have known that I would need to go but I didn’t want to go till I knew my heart was changing. That I wasn’t just doing it to get it done so I can receive down the road. Also this means to me that I need to make a call to a priest and set up a time for confession. I have always liked face to face and felt I get more from it but it is also because I want to talk this out. I don’t just want to go on a regular confession time and do a sin drive by drop off and be on my way. I would have no problem going to regular confession after this time. This has been a long road to get back here and I don’t think for my first confession in over five years should be a quick fix for me. I want to talk over my issues that surrounded my sins so I am really open and honest in confession.  Now I have to find a priest, any suggestions? 

    After leaving mass I got in my car and just drove for awhile. I had so many mixed feelings in my heart and I needed to clear my head and heart. Going for a drive has always helped me understand whats bothering me. I was trying to figure out when did this change in my heart happen? How did it happen? How could this change happen and I didn’t know it before mass today? For once I have to say, it doesn’t matter when it happened, it just matters that it did happen. 

   It is an amazing feeling to feel the draw of the Eucharist again. I may just have to stop and do some Eucharist Adoration again like I used to all the time. There was a comfort that I always got being in the presence of Jesus. I did stop in a few times when others needed some extra prayers but it was never for myself. It was kind of like that drive by confessional I don’t want to do for my first time. I would drop off my prayers for the people that needed them and I was out the door again. It is time to sit and spend the time with Jesus again. We have a lot to catch up on. 

Until tomorrow, God Bless, and you never know when your heart may change, be patient and open because it will. 

Friday, September 21, 2012


Our Lady

    Our Lady has been on my mind today. I guess it was because I was thinking of Jesus’s human life that brought Mary to the forefront of my mind today.  Mary has played a big role in my life. I have always had a connection to Her. Especially to Our Lady of Guadeloupe because Her feast day is my birthday. There are other apparitions of Mary as well, Lourdes, Fatima, Knock, to name just a few. 

   Just as I said with Jesus, I want to see those times that Mary was going about Her day. Yes, I would like to see when She was told of what is to come and that She will give birth to Jesus. That would be amazing to see but for me it is those simple moments of Her life where She was just a mother to her son, not the Mother of God. I don’t mean any disrespect in that statement. It is just to me that She was chosen because God knew Her heart and soul. That here stands a women of Honor, Blessing, Love, Caring, Grace, Strength and Faith. To see her take the hand of my savior as He is learning to walk would be a blessing. Mary was mother to our Lord. She raised Him to be who God intended Him to be. She knew what pain was to come but She said yes to God and never questioned it. 

   I have always seen Mary as a women that is filled with faith but also equally filled with strength. Mary was always that pillar of strength to me. It has to be also because that is how I saw my own mother, that pillar of strength. I just didn’t see Mary as a this women who sat in the corner, quiet, reserved at all. She was always a force to me.  One of my favorite parts in the bible is the wedding at Cana. John writes : 

On the third day there was a wedding in Cana in Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there. Jesus and his disciples were also invited to the wedding. When the wine ran short, the mother of Jesus said to him, "They have no wine."(And) Jesus said to her, "Woman, how does your concern affect me? My hour has not yet come."His mother said to the servers, "Do whatever he tells you."

    I have always wanted to know what went on between the “My hour has not yet come” and Mary saying “Do whatever he tells you”. Why does Jesus change His mind. I have a guess at that. Think of when your own mother told you or asked you to do something and you said no? Now, I bet there was a look she would give you that would change your mind real quick. I think the same  happened here as well. Jesus says “no” and Mary gives the look of “ Oh really” and the next thing we read is that the wine is flowing and is the best wine they had. 

     It is in those moments that I am always drawn into. Mary not only offers her own life to be mother of Jesus, she also offers Her own Sons life as well. The writing was on the wall of what was to come but She still said yes and said “ May it be done to me according to your word” Luke 1:38 She went into this with Her own free will offering all she was, is and would be.  I hope to be able to do the same where God is concerned in my life. I not only want to offer my life to use but do so without negotiating with Him. That is easier said then done but Mary is the perfect example of that life of offer. 

      I could not imagine what Mary felt as Her son was taken, tortured, condemned, nailed to the cross, then dies. She had to be dying herself inside. This was Her son that was dying. If I ever get the chance to see Mary face to face I have always wanted to say to Her that “ I am sorry your son had to die for me and my sins”. I have said this in prayer to Her but it is just something I feel should be said to Her face to face. 

      On a lighter note, I have always seen Mary as a mediator between Jesus and myself.  As I said in my blog yesterday, that I see Jesus like a friend / brother and in this we don’t see eye to eye at times. So, with that being the case I have always felt the need to talk to Mary about it. I must admit it tends to be on the side of can you talk to Him and get Him to see my point and kind of get Him in trouble with His mother. Yes, it is a childish way to see it but again it does work for me. Mary of course will side with Jesus because He is right but it is still worth a shot. Where I will argue with Jesus, I will not with Mary. I tend to do more of the “Yes, I understand” with Her. 

     Mary is a force in my life and with coming back I have started to draw and ask for Her strength also to help me. She is mother to us all and wants to show us the way to Her son. If you are scared to talk to Jesus directly ask Mary for help in that. She will be there with you as you talk to Jesus. Mary has never let me down and I know She wouldn’t to anyone who asks for Her intercessions. 

Until tomorrow, God Bless, and see what Mary’s Life offers to you.

Thursday, September 20, 2012



     Who is Jesus to you? There are so many names and title given to Jesus through out the bible. Alpha and Omega, Christ, Emmanuel, Healer, Lamb of God, Lord, etc... There are over 200 titles and names for Jesus but, how do you see him? At times He may be different names and titles to us. If we are going through a hard time He is the counsellor and comforter. If we are asking for forgiveness He is our redeemer. No matter what you call Jesus, He is there during all those times. You just need to call out to Him. 

     Jesus can be all things to us and He wants to be all those things because He wants to be with us. For the most part Jesus was always a mystery to me. I was always able to accept the idea of Jesus as God’s Son and His whole spiritual aspect but, what I found so mysterious was Jesus as Human. It was that side of Jesus that I have aways found the most intriguing. That is my draw to Jesus. This is the part of Him that I cling to and identify the most with. 

      Have you even been asked “ If you could witness Jesus’s life, what part would you want to see”? Many will reply with some of His miracles like, changing water into wine, feeding the masses with just a few loaves and fish, dying on the cross, etc.... My answer has always been, “ I want to see Jesus interact with His mother, How Jesus was when He wasn’t preaching but in His down time. To me, to be there as Jesus is just sitting somewhere and I walk up to just sit and talk and He greets me as a friend would, is the best event I would want to see.  Don’t get me wrong, if I had to only choose one of His miracles , I wouldn’t pass it up. 

      Jesus has always been a source of comfort. It wasn’t because of any of His titles or because He is part of the most blessed trinity but because He was here. Jesus walked this earth as part of us. He lived and died for us. He faced and felt all that we do. Jesus wept for His friend, Jesus laughed with His disciples, Jesus cared for His mother Mary, Jesus lived a life here on earth. That is what always gets my attention. Jesus had a life here and He knows what it is like.  He gave up that life so we could live. 

       My relationship with Jesus is like a good friend or brother. We argue, well I argue He just listens and shakes His head. We don’t always see eye to eye on things. Even when I didn’t want to speak to Him, He was waiting for me to reach out. The second I did He was there. I wish I could explain how my relationship with Jesus is in a better way and a way that doesn’t appear that I am not being sacrilegious. I don’t mean to diminish Jesus miracles at all. That is not my intent at all. It is just for me that area is great but I want those small moments with Jesus. 

        There was a movie scene where Jesus is with His mother, Mary and she is helping Him wash His hands and He just kind of splashes some water at Mary. That scene to me is one I will never forget. It was Him being here in the moment with His mother, He wasn’t God (yes He was in reality) but He was a son at that moment. Then there was another scene in a different movie where Jesus was walking with His disciples and He was just joking around with them. Again He wasn’t acting as God (even though He is) but was just acting like we all act with out friends. Those are those moments where I feel Jesus best. It is like in that blog earlier with Jesus saying “ See there is where I dragged you”. It s that human aspect of Him that makes Him real to me. 

     This is why I can turn to Him now. All those titles and names  of Jesus fall under  the umbrella of friend / brother. Just as a friend would council me and comfort me, so will Jesus. He will not turn from me. Jesus will be there to guide me, pick me up, help me, shelter me and so much more. 

       I was thinking this was going to be a long blog but as I started to type away I realized that this first part of Jesus for me is this human aspect where I found a connection with Jesus and from that I have found Him to be so many other things to me as well. I want to explore all these different names and titles about Jesus in other blogs along this journey and I hope that you will explore what Jesus is to you with me. It is important to have a relationship with Jesus because He understands what it is like to be human. He knows all those pains and sorrow we have and also those joys and blessings as well. 

Until tomorrow, God Bless, and try and find that connection to Jesus and see who He is to you. 

Wednesday, September 19, 2012



      Our days are filled with choice after choice. Some of the choices we make really are trivial choices and other choices will shape who we are. I know for many of us that first choice starts right off in the morning. Do I hit snooze or get up? Then we are up making choices after choice. Do I stop and get coffee? Do I try and make this light? Do I turn the radio down and pray? Do I go to mass today? The choices are endless till we fall asleep at night. 

     We were given free will and in that free will we have all these choices. In the United States we are very luck that we get so many choices in our lives from what we want to watch on tv, to our jobs, to who we have in leadership. Sometimes we take all the choices for granted.  I know I do at times.

      God gives us the choice to follow Him or not to follow. He doesn’t force His was into our hearts but rather waits for us to allow this to happen. We have to make that choice to do so and I feel that this is not a one time choice either. Everyday God is asking us to speak to Him, to pray to Him, to seek Him, etc.... We have to make that choice and say yes to Him everyday. 

      The idea of God not only giving us that free will to choose to follow Him and have Him in our hearts but to give us that choice everyday. God doesn’t offer us a two year contract where we sign and have to love and honor Him during those two years and if we cancel early that we have to pay a high price to get out of it. He paid the high price already and that was when Jesus died for us on the cross. He didn’t wait for us to make the choice, He sent His Son to earth so when we make that choice it is already answered. God will always be there for when we choose to follow Him and allow Him in our hearts.

       We don’t wake up and say “ Ok God, I am following you again today”. He knows it each day. When we act like Christ, we pray, we ask for guidance, we see Him in the world, then we are making that choice to be with Him. 

         God offers us forgiveness, love, grace and salvation all day long and it doesn’t matter that you said no or yes a hundred thousand times before, He still offers it. That choice is there for us to make and when we do He still makes sure it is our choice everyday. He doesn’t force us to stay. 

          It is like that saying “ If you love someone let them go and if it is meant to be, then they will return”. God gives us that choice to return to Him, time and time again. 

Until tomorrow, God Bless, and remember the choice is yours, choose wisely. 

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Going through the Motions

Going through the Motions

There is a song I have been hearing a lot on the radio and well now on my iPod called  “The Motions” by Matthew West. The song reflects on how he doesn’t just want to go through the motions but to feel something again. That just ok isn’t enough anymore and he wants that passion inside of him. It is such a great song and worth checking it out. 

      We all go through moments in our lives that we just go through “the motions”.  That is fine for a bit but we just can’t keep that up. It is not what we are to do. We can get lost easier when we don’t feel anything.  Yes, sometimes when we just go through the motions, we are able to gain back those feeling because we kept going. Then there those other times, that we just do and nothing is coming, there is no spark, nothing seems to click. When that spark hit me almost a month ago I decided to run with it. 

     I decided that day that this wasn’t working anymore and that I am blessed to have that spark and if I don’t give all now, then I don’t think it will work. About this time I heard this song and I realized that this was just what I needed to do.  I had to live like this was my last chance to give everything. That this was it. 

      Jesus wants this for us. He wants us to give everything to Him just as He gave everything to us, including His life. This could mean many things to each of us. What does it mean for you to just go through the motions? Do you just say the prayers because you feel you should or do you feel those prayers as you say them? Do you sit at mass and just watch the clock or do you participate in the mass? Do you flip through the pages of the bible or do you sit back and take what you are reading to heart? 

    Change it up if you feel you are just going through the motions. If saying the organized prayers seem not to be working, then make up a prayer. Write your own prayers. If mass seems to be just going through the motion maybe check out another church in your area. Now I am not saying a different denomination but maybe even listen to a different priests homily.  Add things to your life. Check out some christian music. Check churches that may have some guest speakers or a mission. Try taking the bible and sit in a park or by the ocean. Think outside of what your routine is and add to it.

     Granted it is our hearts that have to feel something ultimately to stop the feeling of just going through the motions. These are just some tricks you may try and see if something adds that spark. All it will take is that spark to make that change start. I thought there always had to be this grand epiphany. You know where it will seem that the angels on mount high are singing and the sun will just shine down bright on you, but that is not what it was for me. I just woke up one day and started to feel something stirring. 

      I denied that stirring a bit because I really didn’t think it was God again. It couldn’t be I thought but it was and going through the motions wasn’t going to make it right for me.  He doesn’t want that for us. He wants to be in our Hearts with joy and passion then just the ok of life. Also for me I tried to keep this to myself because I wasn’t sure if it was real, but for me part of not going through the motions is sharing what is going on. When  I sit down and write the blog I feel that fire burn in my soul. There is just this feeling that I am doing something different. When I also email back and forth between a good friend of mine about things of Faith, God and religion I again feel that fire. That friend has helped with keeping me from just going through the motions. There is a challenge and thought process that goes along with the emails. He challenges me to think, not just with my brain but my heart and soul. Is this what I really believe or is it just the motions. I don’t think we are to do this alone by any means. Jesus could have done it on His own but He chose to have people close to Him to help Him so why not have someone help you and challenge you as well. 

       Sometimes like I said all we can do is go through the motions until we reach a point that it just isn’t enough anymore. It would be great to just say “ok, enough of this” and it all falls into place but it is not that simple. We have to work on it. We have to labor in the field and find that treasure of faith. 

Until tomorrow, God Bless, and remember all you need is a spark to start a fire. 

Monday, September 17, 2012

End of My Rope

End of my Rope

How many times have you felt that you were “at the end of your rope”? That you just could not handle one more thing. That you start to question how much more you have to take before this rope snaps and you come crashing down? I can bet that you can’t even remember how many times that you felt that, but just have the feeling it is more then once in your life. Here is the amazing thing about that, you made it through before and you will do it again. 

  God is there for us when we feel that we just can’t take it anymore. You know that saying where “ God only gives us what we can handle”. Now granted I normally follow that with I just wish He didn’t trust me enough to handle this much. It is hard when you are going through things to see past it and what you are going to get from it.  God’s grace gets us through those tuff times. He gives us the strength to get up and carry on. For my own example, the day after my mother died was the prayer group I was a leader at. There was no where else I wanted to be that night. I knew I needed God to get me through those next few days. I couldn’t think of any other way but that. 

   I think back to areas in my life that I never thought I would get past and be moving forward and I see that there was something, someone greater then me guiding my way. He lays out so many options for us and we decide what way we will go with it. God will not force us one way or another but I personally feel that when you are going through things God will give you signs. People may cross your path and be able to help you hold on to “the rope” or even offer you a “new rope” to hold onto. 

    When we are at the “end of our rope” we tend to start asking “why” before we ask for help. Why is this happening? Why is it this way” Why me? I know I tend to do that... Why? Why? Why? I am now thinking I need to change those “Why’s” to “What’s”. What am I to learn here? What prayers can I offer? What is Your will, God? It isn’t easy to change that mindset when things are going on. Why, is much easier because we are taking the pressure off of ourselves and putting that on God. The “what” questions we put onto ourselves. It is what do I need to do, what I need to learn, what is Your Will. You may wonder how is that “ What is Your will” on us. We are asking God what His will is but His will may not be ours. We are asking Him to let us know what His will is and we then are to do His will. 

     When we ask “ What is Your Will”, God may say that we are to let go of the rope and trust in Him. That we are just hanging onto something that isn’t meant to be.  I am not going to say this is easy because it is not. We never know what will happen when we let go and trust in God. We may even not like what we fall into when we do let go, but there is a reason for it. We may not know the reasons for it here in this life but I do think it will all become clear. 

     I always questioned if I have more or less faith at the beginning of my rope or at the end. In the beginning it can be all “Yay” God faith. The He is good and things are great faith. Then at the end I have the faith in a God that will get me past this and give me the strength to overcome whatever it is. It is the same God I am having faith in but it changes somewhat. I think that I put more faith in God at the end of my rope then the beginning, or really not more faith but I become more aware of that faith. It is like if your shoelace is untied but you don’t realize it because you are just walking away with no problems, until that one step where you trip and realize what happened. Then you are focused on tying that shoe before you continue on and trip or fall. 

    When we are at the “end of our rope” we should be praying and asking What is to be done, then Why me. I have come to realize that the why me questions doesn’t help me but the what questions help me move on and do what needs to be done. This isn’t easy I know but if you are at the end of your rope then what else can you do but try it. It just may help strengthen that rope and yourself.

Until tomorrow, God Bless, and remember God is never at the end of His rope with us. 

Sunday, September 16, 2012



Today was my Godson’s Christening and it was a day full of joy and blessings. It was such a blessing to watch up close and personal as the holy water was poured onto his head and dripped off of him. Seeing my cousin hold her son as he became part of the Catholic Faith was more then I could have asked for. 

     To some people it is just some prayers and a dash of water and it is all set and done. There is no physical change that anyone can see but there is a change of the spiritual part of the child. This is a start for him and can be a start for everyone as well. 

      I have tonight tried to come up with all these different theories and tie everything up with this great big bow, but I just can’t. The reason why is very simple, it’s not about that for me today. It was just about being there for my Godson as he became part of the church. It was because of him that started this debate in my heart and mind about coming back to church. I may have come back down the road at some point, I can’t say for sure or not. The only thing I do know is, that I am back. 

       I was thinking yesterday that tonight blog will be all filled with these great meanings of becoming part of the church, being saved, sin, Holy Water, etc..... and I am sorry that I don’t have that tonight, but what I do have is that Blessing of being someones Godparent in this life and watch him grow both physically, mentally and spiritually.  

 Until tomorrow, God Bless, and remember the blessings you have, and take the time to enjoy them. 

Saturday, September 15, 2012



Tonight I was at a party where someone couldn’t be there because they were in the hospital but Thanks to technology he was able to make an appearance via skype.  This got me to think how we are able to be so connected in this world. There are so many ways people can reach each other, phone, cell, and email. Even in the deepest part of the jungle you can be reached by a satellite phone. There is also another way we are all connected and that is through God and prayer. 

    We can connect with God in prayer and with each other as we pray. There is no weak signal when it comes to prayer. We get the strongest connection when we are praying for each other to God. We are never roaming or are in fear of a dropped call when we go through some areas. No matter where we are or what we are going through, prayer is always there to connect us to God. 

   God is always reachable when we use prayer. There is never a time when He will se it is you and forward you to voicemail. He wants to hear from us. He wants to hear from us. I find that when I pray its more of me just talking to Him. Prayer for me is more of a conversation then a formal prayer. There is nothing wrong with formal prayer at all.  It is just that I tend to go through the motions when it comes to formal prayer at times. This way when I just talk to God or Jesus I am being more open. I will open with a formal prayer like the Our Father before I start talking and end with a formal prayer, well most of the time. I normally do end with ok... talk to you later. I don’t know if some may say that isn’t proper or is sacrilegious but that is just how I feel. 

    When I do say Talk to you later to God, I mean it. I say the same to my friends and family. I will talk to Him or Jesus later on. It is becoming again such a part of my day. I don’t have a set time when I say “Ok. It is time to pray”. It is more like when you think of something you want to tell your friend and send them a text. You don’t wait till a certain time to send them the text. So, why do that with God? Why not talk to Him during the day? Don’t wait till morning or night prayers. Please don’t think I am saying don’t do morning or night prayers. That is great if you do but also try adding that other random time to talk to God and Jesus. I also need to add that morning prayer in my day.  I am not a morning person and I think I try and spare God my wrath before caffeine has been in my veins. 

      Even when people are praying for you, there is that connection between them, God and yourself. That connection is special. It brings your connection here on earth to a spiritual level as well. It is a relationship that transcends this world into the next. It is great when that happens. 

       When good and bad things are going on, make that prayer connection with God and Jesus. It makes for an easier time when you talk to Them. I know for me it has. I don’t want that “fair weather friend”. I want that friend that stands there for everything. God and Jesus is that. They will be there all the time. We just have to reach out and ask (pray). 

        We are always connected to God and Jesus when we pray. There is never a time of day or night that They are not there to listen. Same for the people in our lives that we pray for and who pray for us. We are connected to each other in prayer. Those prayers keep us together even when we are not physically connected. We are always connected in the spiritual world when we pray for each other. 

        We can never pray to much or pray the wrong way. God just wants to hear from us. 

Until tomorrow, God Bless, and remember the prayer connection is always open to God and each other. 

Opening Yourself

Opening Yourself

 For a long time I always thought there was this set of rules that you had to follow when you were worshiping or even giving honor to God. That there is only that one spiritual path that you pick and nothing can be added to that path. What I mean is that if you say the rosary, then that is your spiritual path, if you do adoration then that is your way. I thought if you had mixed ways then you were not devoting yourself to one way and wouldn’t be spiritually filled. Granted this was many years ago when I was first back to church. Then I learned how wrong I was. 

    There is no set rules at all, I put those rules on myself. By putting those rules on myself I was limiting how God can open my heart and also limiting myself in how I can worship and praise God. I was asked by someone to go on a retreat called Life in the Spirit. I had never been on a retreat before and had no clue how this went. It was a weekend away and all different talks. I was so nervous and honestly a bit scared. This was out of the box for me. God was at the church to me and thats all that you had to give. That hour on sunday was all that was needed. I knew nothing of the LIS retreat and I am glad I didn’t after the fact. I think I would have found a way not to go if I did know that it was out of my comfort zone. This weekend introduced a new spirituality to me that I didn’t even know of, charismatic. 

      The weekend started with me watching people sing these up beat songs about God and raising their hands in the air. This was something new to me. I watched them so intently because I didn’t understand where this came from and well, even is this something we can do. I was in the mindset of church, Stand, Sit, Stand, Kneel, Sit, Kneel, repeat. I realized this was another way to give God praise and honor and that it just wasn’t a one way deal. I learned a lot that weekend and a few years later I was a leader of that group that put on the retreat. 

      With coming back to God I am exploring all those ways I used to give Him honor and praise and it is amazing how those ways are still the way that I feel Him. There is just something there when I am in my car and a praise and worship song comes on and I start singing it, that in that moment God is that focus. I feel Him in that moment and I don’t want that moment to end. I wouldn’t have that if I didn’t go outside of my comfort zone of pray at home and at church to feel God. 

       I was at a christian concert tonight and I have to say it amazes me to watch as people raise their hands in praise. Hundreds of people feeling God and Jesus and opening themselves up and reaching out to God. Yes, at regular concerts people raise their hands to the singer or band. It is a very different feeling at a christian concert. The singer or band has a different draw. The draw is the message of God and Jesus. People will dance and raise their hands in praise and they don’t care how they may appear to others. I have to say that I am still uncomfortable to do that. I don’t feel that I have to do it but I know that there have been times that I didn’t because I was concerned how it would be seen. I know it shouldn’t matter.

       There are those moments I am finding that I am holding back and not opening up fully. That I am just waiting to get that final confirmation that this is all ok and just go with it.  There are many different spiritual avenues out there and the great thing is there isn’t that one way street. You can go up and down as many as you want to and it will not take away from each other but enhance them. If you want to pray the rosary during adoration then get in your car and praise God in song as you drive to that christian concert to raise your hand in praise then so be it. You are not limited in your options. We are the ones that limit ourselves in this life. 

Until tomorrow God Bless, and open yourselves to all spiritual avenues and take the route that makes you feel Him.